9/11 As A Flight Attendant

On September 11, 2001 I was an eleven year old homeschooler who was excited that we were getting satellite TV at my house in rural Vermont. 

Cable TV didn't reach that far (it still doesn't), and I was excited to be able to watch the History Channel, MTV, and Disney Channel Original Movies. 

The first thing we watched with our new TV was airplanes crashing into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. 

Like most Americans, I remember that day with absolute clarity, but as a kid, you can't appreciate the magnitude of a moment like that in history. 

I knew something horrible had happened. I knew the adults around me were shocked and horrified. 

But I just didn't have the perspective to understand the ramifications of what was unfolding that day. Did anyone, really?

For the next 14 years, 9/11 was a horrifying moment in history that changed the world and devastated the lives of innocent people, but it felt far away from my life in rural Northern Vermont. 

Then I became a Flight Attendant. 

I remember so clearly seeing the memorial to the American Airlines Flight Crews at our training center in Dallas while I was there learning how to do this job. 

It hit me that if these people hadn't been murdered, they would have been my co-workers. 

Between that memorial and the security procedures we learned and constantly practiced, 9/11 didn't seem like a far away historical event anymore. 

It became something that had happened to my airline. 

To my colleagues. 

It became something that I had a personal responsibility to prevent from ever happening again. 

As a passenger, you just have no idea the steps Flight Attendants take every minute of every flight to keep you safe, whether it's from turbulence, dehydration, or a terrorist attack. 

On 9/11/2001 the Flight Attendants were the first of the First Responders who tried to save lives that day. 

They tried to stop the hijackers. 

They called the ground to warn people. 

They knew what was happening and they. fought. back. 

Every single day, Flight Attendants save lives in the air and on the ground. 

It's what we're trained for. 

It's our job. 

Too often, passengers are completely disrespectful towards us when we enforce the rules and follow the procedures that are in place to keep you all safe. 

Once, I even got yelled at by a passengers for following anti-hijacking procedures. 

He thought his drink was more important than the safety of everyone on our aircraft. 

Seriously. 

Flight Attendants and Pilots think about September 11th every single day. 

When Come From Away came out, I was delighted as a fan of musical theatre, but I was more delighted as a Flight Attendant. It felt like people were paying attention to the day that changed everything. 

So many people lost loved ones on that day and in the weeks, months, and years after as a result. 

So many acts of heroism were performed by everyday people. 

The man in the red bandana.

Rick Rescoria.

The First Responders on the ground. 

But it was the flight crews and the passengers who were the first to respond and the first to perish. 

Every day I step on an airplane, I am prepared to sacrifice my own safety to protect my passengers and to protect people on the ground. 

We know the risks, and we do this job anyway. 

I am extremely proud to be a Flight Attendant. 

So the next time you fly, bring a thank you note for your flight crew to show your appreciation for the hard work they do to keep you safe. 

Even better, just do what we ask you to, in the air and on the ground. 

But most of all, remember the courage and heroism of Flight Attendants like Betty Ong and read the stories of who they were and how they lived.

F(l)ight Club

By now, if you are a fluent user of the internet, you have surely heard about the latest viral controversy plaguing beleaguered United Airlines. 

Everyone is talking about this poor guy who was dragged off of his flight and the horrible treatment he received. 

Look, I wasn't there when it happened.

I do not work for United.

But here's my take on the drama.

1. Oh lordy, was this situation BUNGLED. 

From allowing the passengers to board when they KNEW there would be four who needed to be displaced for crew repositioning, to the airline's response on social media, to the ongoing PR handling, this whole thing is a cascading hot mess. 

Based on what I've read about this situation, it sounds like there were four seats on that oversold flight that were needed to get a crew to Louisville to work- deadheaders, as we call them in the airline industry. The company probably needed them to get to work in order to avoid canceling or further delaying other flights. Those four passengers were asked to give up their seats to save hundreds of others from being stranded on a week when literally THOUSANDS of passengers have been trapped in airports all over the country. As far as I can tell, these weren't joyriding non-revs, these were deadheading working crew members.

Sometimes deadheads are planned, but sometimes they're unplanned or a prior delay can complicate things. This is normal. I have been in situations where passengers on an oversold flight have been bumped for me or for another crew member. If you miss a flight, it's a problem. If a crew member misses a flight it can be a complete DISASTER for hundreds or thousands of people. 

However, the situation should have been dealt with at the gate. 

No passengers should have boarded that aircraft when they still needed to solve the crew seating issue. I am absolutely baffled as to how or why that happened. 

2. You aren't actually entitled to that exact seat on that exact flight.

As much as you're going to hate this, an airline is completely within the contract they signed with you to bump you from a flight whenever they need to. When you buy a ticket, you commit to a Contract of Carriage. You can find United's here.  

You don't own a seat on that plane.

3. This was horrendously bad customer service.

There's just no way around this one. Horrible service was provided to the man who was removed, as well as to the rest of the passengers who were on that flight. 

People deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and dignity.

That obviously didn't happen here.

That said....

4. When you're traveling, you need to be a reasonable adult. 

Travelers of the world, you need to have some perspective.
Every single person on that plane had an important reason for trying to get to Louisville yesterday. Maybe it was for a college visit. A funeral. Going home from Spring Break. A big meeting.

Every single person on every single airplane has an important reason to be there.

As terrible as I feel for the passenger who was injured, he absolutely needed to follow the instructions he was given, no matter how upset they made him. 

Travel (and life, for that matter) doesn't always go according to your plan. 

It's frustrating. It's maddening. It's enraging. It's not FAIR. 

But you still have to follow the rules and you still have to be a reasonable adult. 

You don't get to yell and scream and kick because you have to do something you don't want to. 

You comply and then get the company to give you a $1200 travel voucher. Or file a complaint with the Department of Transportation. Rant about it on Twitter

You do whatever you need to do to work through it, but you can't break the rules because you're mad.

Be responsible and handle yourself. Period.

5. This is having a big impact. 

My passengers actually paid attention to my safety demo this morning. 

I'm not sure if they were worried I was going to kick them off or if they just really liked my life vest, but I did have an unusually attentive crowd on my flight today. 

United's stock has plummeted in the midst of this PR nightmare. Social media seems more focused on this than real news and that's depressing.

I'm also extremely amused by the number of people who are suddenly experts on Airline Procedures... something tells me they probably have some even diagram overlap with the group of people who say things to me like "I fly all the time! I bet I fly more than you."
You don't, sir. You don't. 

So that's my take on the whole thing.
I'll be very interested to see how all of this plays out, but in the meantime, please be kind to the many many faultless United employees who are just trying to do their jobs. I have friends who fly for them, and it's not fair to disparage them or their employer over one viral story. 

Leggings on Planes: A Flight Attendant's Perspective

Over the past few days we've all seen this story blowing up all over the internet. 

Girls boarding a plane in Denver were asked to change their clothes at the discretion of a Gate Agent who felt that leggings didn't fit the parameters for appropriate attire. 

Well. I have some thoughts on the issue. 

In this particular situation, the girls were "pass riders" or as we call them where I'm from, "non-revs". They were flying using the work benefits of a family member or a friend who works for the airline. Non-revs have specific attire requirements that they have to comply with in order to utilize their flight privileges. 

Non-revs need to follow the parameters outlined by the airline they're benefitting from. That's totally fair.

HOWEVER. 

This conversation is about more than just leggings on planes. 

It's about how we view female bodies as sexual objects. 

It's also about how we, as a society, determine what is or is not "appropriate". 

Here's what it boils down to for me:

1. The clothing you choose to wear sends a message to the people around you about who you are. 

If you've paid for your ticket on a plane you can send whatever message you want to because you're only representing yourself. 

If you're traveling for business or in another specific capacity you might need to dress differently. 

When I put on clothes to leave the house, I am making a conscious choice about how I want to be perceived that day. 

Generally, I want people to glance my way and assume I'm a competent and polished person. I wear makeup. I comb my hair. My clothing style is mostly classic and sometimes kind of androgynous. It could most kindly be called "High WASP via Vermont".

People will always misunderstand you. There will always be people who misinterpret what you say or what you write, or how you present yourself in public. It's up to you to determine how that's going to affect what you do. 

2. All leggings are not the same. 

There are athletic leggings, casual cotton leggings, printed fashion leggings, and then there are tights, which are NOT leggings. 

I have no problem with leggings being worn as pants as long as they are completely opaque. I'm also aware that there are some people who don't feel the same way and when I leave the house wearing leggings as pants, I might encounter pushback. 

That might mean judgmental looks, or that might mean having a discussion about the validity of leggings as appropriate attire for non-revving. 

I don't believe that see-through clothing is ever appropriate on an airplane. 

I don't care who you are, I don't care what you're doing, an airplane is not the place to be provocative or push buttons. It's a place to be polite and to focus on safety. 

If it would have more than a PG rating in a movie theatre, it doesn't belong on a plane. 

I once had a situation where a passenger was wearing a shirt with a certain curse word all over it, and I had to work with the Gate Agent and the Captain to have her change into something that wasn't R rated. I wasn't personally offended by her shirt, but as a Flight Attendant it's my job to help make sure that passengers on my plane are treated with respect by the crew and also by their fellow passengers.  By wearing something so decidedly provocative in a public space, the woman who needed to change was not being respectful toward the people around her.

It's especially important to be courteous to those around you in public when you're on an airplane because it's a high stress situation for many people. 

When you're not on a plane, wear whatever you want to, friend. You do you. Just be aware of the message that you're sending. 

3. This topic is tricky because of how our society treats women as sexual objects. 

Objectification is simple: it's treating a person as a thing rather than as a human being. 

Sexual objectification is a huge and grossly complex issue that I don't really want to dive too deeply into, because I do not have a degree in Gender Studies or Psychology. 

I will say though, I am so sick of people debating whether or not it's appropriate for women to wear leggings in public because of the effect that leggings might have on men. 

Dudes, get ahold of yourselves. Your self control is not my responsibility. 

In the meantime, ladies, wear those leggings in whatever way you are most comfortable. Rock your outfits while flying. 

But whatever you wear, please keep consideration and respect in mind when you're deciding what to wear in public, especially on an airplane. 

Happy Galentine's Day!

I love Leslie Knope. 

More than a few times, I've been compared to her and I'm always flattered. 

One of the best things to come out of Parks and Rec is the fabulous tradition of Galentine's Day.

I wanted to share with you my favorite Galentine's Day tradition.

Two years ago right now, I was walking through one of the hardest times of my life. I didn't have a Valentine but I did have awesome lady pals who were holding my hand as I went through hell. 

So I started crafting cards for them. 

There were some embarrassing mishaps early on involving glitter glue, but now I've got my favorite format down. 

Glitter washi tape. Knope compliments. Heartfelt words. 

I am so lucky to have so many cool, hilarious, strong, and gorgeous women in my world. 

THANKS Chi Omega, Miss America, Girls State, Flight Attending, and other awesome ways I've met cool women. 

I usually can't eat waffles with my gal pals on Galentine's Day, but I CAN spend the day celebrating awesome women and letting them know I care about them. 

Here are a few of the cards that I put together this year:

Valentine's Day is lovely, but honestly, I'm way more excited about a day devoted to inspiring women, glitter, and breakfast food. 

Happy Galentine's Day! 

Have Courage and Be Kind

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For some people, being kind is like breathing- they do it constantly without thinking.

For me, being kind is more like breathing correctly during yoga- I'm generally pretty good about it but sometimes I forget and have to be reminded that I need to do better. 

I've been pretty heartbroken since the election in November. It's tested my resilience and my commitment to intentional optimism. 

To be clear: I'm not heartbroken that the candidate I supported lost, I'm heartbroken that people who believe in violence and hatred feel like they've won. 

No one knows better than me that in politics, sometimes you lose. 

Sometimes what you hope for and dream of and work for doesn't happen. 

That's life. That's normal. 

C'est la vie. 

What I refuse to accept is the normalization of hatred. I refuse to accept the normalization of violence.

This is America. 

We always rise and show that we are worthy of the promise of the pursuit of happiness. 

Too often it takes longer than we want it to.

Too often we have to fight back against our own apathy to embrace the better angels of our nature. 

But we must. 

I am not perfect. I have been unkind and I will be unkind, but in small ways and in large ways, I hope you'll join me in committing to intentional kindness and optimism as we face these next four years. 

Kindness, empathy, and compassion are the most basic ways we can fight hatred in out every day lives.

Five Ways to Show Kindness:

1. See something, say something. 

If you see someone being harassed or treated rudely, have the courage to engage with the target by saying something like "Oh my gosh! Sarah?! I'm so glad to see you! It's been so long!"

Here's a good guide for what to do if you encounter public harassment. 

2. Stop and help.

If you see someone struggling with their shopping bags, offer to help. If you drive by a house where an elderly woman is trying to rake leaves from her motorized scooter, pull over and ask if you can help her. If there's a parent traveling alone with a baby on your plane, offer to hold that baby if mom/dad needs to go to the bathroom. 

3. Donate feminine care items.

Homeless shelters around the nation are in dire need of bras and feminine hygiene products. 

Here's an organization that will help you help women in need. 

4. Donate your time.

Is there a cause you believe in? Volunteer for it. 

Personally, I'm all about helping girls develop courage, confidence, and character so I volunteer for my local Girl Scout Service Unit. I also love my local library, so I've gotten involved with a group who wants to support it. 

Put your time where your heart is. 

5. Hold the door and smile at people. 

Especially for people who might worry that they're unsafe these days.

Little kindnesses add up. 

You don't have to be perfect, you just have to try. 

Every small effort to make the world a better place does matter.

So do it.