Buddy Bidding: Flight Attendant Friends

There are a couple of misconceptions I encounter a lot when people ask me about working as a Flight Attendant. People seem to think that we have a "regular route" and that we work with the same crew members all the time. 

FAKE NEWS, PEOPLE.

(Are we still saying fake news?)

We do NOT have a "regular route". 

Some Flight Attendants have particular layovers that they prefer for any number of reasons. Maybe they have family they want to visit in Omaha. Maybe they live in Detroit but commute to Philly so they want to be able to go home on their overnights. Maybe they need a special type of buteer/handcream/face cream/medication that can only be purchased in Europe. 

If they have the seniority to get the layovers they bid for, they might fly to a particular destination more than others. Alternatively, if they have no seniority and Crew Scheduling falls in love with sending them to Las Vegas for every single major holiday....they might also end up at the same destination again and again. 

(Las Vegas was my second home in 2016. Thanks Scheduling.)

We don't fly with the same crew all the time.

(Kind of.)

Very rarely do I walk onto a plane and find I'm working with people I already know. After four years of flying, hundreds of flights, and literally MILLIONS of miles, it's pretty rare that I encounter co-workers I already know when we all sign in for a trip. It happens more now than it did two or three years ago, but it's still not common. 

Now, that said, on months when I'm not on call and instead have a set schedule (LINEHOLDER LIIIIIFE), I have the option of "buddy bidding" with up to three friends. That means we ask the scheduling gods to only assign us trips that we can work together. 

Even the worst trips can be fun when you're working with a friend you know and enjoy. 

In my case, it means having a friend I can count on to drink wine and eat loaded tater tots with at airport hotel bars in Kansas City..... among other things. 

I buddy bid with my friend Kim pretty regularly- we're bidding together for December because the odds are extremely high that, given our seniority, we're going to be working on Christmas and New Year's. If we can't be with our families in Vermont and Kentucky, at least we can be somewhere together and we can make the best of it. 

(Please scheduling gods, not the short LGA.)

Kim and I have had some awesome adventures together over the last couple of years, some planned, and some by accident- like last year when we got assigned to the same London trip, or earlier this week when Scheduling sent us to Zurich together! 

In the last couple of years, Kim and I have hung out together in a whole bunch of states and quite a few countries (including two that neither of us had every been to before! Cuba and Switzerland.) and we've had so much fun. 

Kim is an awesome person to work with, but she's even more of an inspiration in the real life she lives on the ground- hectic doesn't even BEGIN to describe it (SHE HAS SIX KIDS) but she pulls it all off with grace and an amazing amount of love. I hope that someday I can be even partly as amazing as she is. 

They say that when you marry someone your joys are doubled and your worries are halved, and I've found that's absolutely true when I fly with my pal Kim. 

Buddy Bidding is kind of like being married for a month at a time- and in the same way that I'm very lucky to have found an excellent fiance, I'm also extremely lucky to have found a fabulous Buddy Bidding friend. 

With Kim on the simulator in New Hire training when we were just bitty baby Flight Attendants. 

In Phoenix when the other members of our crew were also junior and very tolerant of my shenanigans. 

We've had a whole bunch of Island one day trips together. One highlight was a whirlwind trip to Cuba!

I forced Kim to take the "Caroline Bright Tour" of London and she got to see all of my favorite childhood spots!

We discovered Slap's BBQ in Kansas City together, and now we have to go there every single time we have a long enough layover in the Show Me State. 

We can't help that we're adorable and charming. It's a gift.

Earlier this week in Zurich, Switzerland. Absolutely our most insane trip together to date, but just another adventure in the chronicles of Kim&Caroline: Buddy Bidders.

The End of Miss America?

Yesterday, a big story broke that has rocked a community I'm very proud to be a part of. 

The CEO of the Miss America Organization was exposed as having endorsed and/or written offensive and derogatory statements about various Miss Americas. He was suspended and then resigned. 

 More than anything else in this situation, I am fiercely proud of the way current and former titleholders have closed ranks in solidarity with our sisters. 

As I tweeted last night, if you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. 

Miss America will survive this as the family that we are.

Here's a link to the details. 

Which brings me to what spurred me to write this post.

This opinion piece in the New York Times. 

Here's the thing. I agree with Jennifer Weiner about a lot of things, generally. I don't disagree with much of what she writes in this piece. My problem with it is that while she might be a self identified "pageant fan",  she obviously does not know my people. 

This crisis is not the end of Miss America. 

I've written before about how much "That Whole Miss America Thing" has meant in my life, but I want to be as clear as possible right now. 

I would not be the person I am today without having been Miss Vermont. I will forever be grateful for and proud of that experience. For. ev. er. 

One thing that really infuriates me about Ms. Weiner's piece is that she has the audacity to tell other women how they're allowed to express their femininity. 

HELL NO. 

I enjoy wearing makeup. I enjoy wearing evening gowns. I LIKE expressing myself in traditionally feminine ways- even if it IS "femininity as spectacle". It's FUN. 

Incidentally, I happen to ADORE drag shows and respect the heck out of those queens too- a lot of pageant girls do. Who do you think is teaching us all of our makeup tricks? 

If you're a woman who DOESN'T enjoy this stuff (have you met my mom? Have you met MOST women from where I'm from?) than that's perfectly fine too! Pageantry isn't mandatory. 

I would NEVER assume that what's right for me is right for all women. 

The other big thing about the piece that really grinds my gears is the idea that this is somehow the "end" of Miss America. 

Maybe it would be if Miss America were "just" a pageant. 

Maybe it would be if an organization devoted to empowering women needed a man to run it. 

Maybe it would be if the grassroots of the organization relied on the people at the top. 

Luckily, none of that is the case. 

Miss America is not about a pageant. 

Miss America is not about one woman who wears a crown. 

Miss America isn't about swimsuits, or spray tans, or teased hair. 

Miss America is about genuine sisterhood. 

Miss America is about a close knit community of people who believe in women and because of that they give and give and give and give. 

Miss America is about empowering women to be themselves on stage and off. 

Look, I'm a liberal Democrat. I attended Liberal Arts colleges. I've taken Gender Studies classes and loved them. I'm an outspoken feminist. 

I get that there are many many complex and problematic elements when it comes to pageantry as a whole and the history of Miss America in particular. I truly understand that. 

At the end of the day, this program is about building women up in a society that is constantly trying to tear them down. 

It's about teaching young women that their voices matter, and teaching them how to speak up with courage and skill. It's about developing relationships with women who will be your "ride or die" friends forever. They'll take you in or rush to your side when they find out you've experienced tragedy. They'll dance with you at your wedding. They'll be your army when you need one at your back. 

I don't know what's coming next for this organization, but I do know that it will be driven by the passion of empowered women. 

The end of Miss America? Oh HELL no. 

How to Give the Best Wedding Speech

All wedding speeches/toasts fall into one of these categories:

1. Hot mess.

The speech giver decided to wing it, downed a few shots, and/or it's unbearably raunchy.

Please let this end.

2. Boring.

Cliche. Blah. Cringe. Is he still talking?

3. Thank goodness that's over.

"Well, at least she tried."

4. Delightful.

Short, sweet, heartfelt, effective.

5. Brilliant.

"VIRAL YOUTUBE STATUS ALERT"

Public speaking freaks people out, so it's understandable that sometimes people fall into one (or more) of the first three categories. 

You want your toast to be a four or a five, so let's make it happen.

Look, the reality is that not all of us can or should deliver a speech in the form of a rap, or a Disney song medley, so here's a basic formula for a speech that will take you from a 1 to at least a 4. 

(For the purposes of this example, let's assume you're making a speech on behalf of a bride.)

A Formula for a Solid Wedding Speech:

Introduce yourself and your role at the wedding.

+

Explain how you met the bride as briefly as possible.

+

Share a quick anecdote that showcases an excellent part of the bride's personality.

+

Share how the bride's new spouse brings that excellent thing out in her.

+ 

Share a story of the two of them together that exemplifies why they're a great fit as a couple.

+ 

If appropriate, add a quote or traditional proverb.

+

Finish strong with something simple like "To the happy couple!" 

Obviously if you're an experienced pro, add in some jokes (as long as they're rated G) and references to things the couple loves. Personalize it. 

Most importantly: write a speech that is focused on the couple you're celebrating. 

This is their day to shine together.

Have questions? Feel like you need some coaching on speech content or delivery? 

Hit me up, y'all. 

I'm a Professional Bridesmaid. 

caroline@aprofessionalbridesmaid.com

Ten Tips for New Hire Flight Attendants

Last week, my base welcomed our first round of New Hires in almost two years. 

Those of us at the bottom of the seniority ladder are SO EXCITED they're here. 

These new kids improve our chances of holding weekends off, getting trips we want, and they bump us up closer to the mythical "line holder" seniority level we've been dreaming of for two years. 

Ten Tips for New Hire Flight Attendants:

1. Get a distinctive ringtone for Crew Scheduling.

I went with the theme from "Archer" because it always feels like they're sending me on missions. The downside is that I now can't watch Archer without having a mini panic attack when the theme plays. Chose a ringtone or song that you don't mind ruining as an anxiety trigger for the rest of your life.

2. Be physically active.

The thing that surprised me the most when I started this job was just how physical it is. Walking miles dragging bags in high heels, lifting bags, hauling 300lb carts, getting down on the ground to fix things, and more. That activity plus the sheer physical task of traveling all. the. time. makes this job a very physically tasking one.
When you factor in the physical requirements of an emergency situation on top of the day to day haul, you need to be physically fit to do this job well.
Get some cardio in at the hotel gym, eat fruits and vegetables (that have not been fried), and get as much walking in as possible during your layovers.

3. Explore new things during your layovers and in your base.

You need to make sleep a priority, but when you're in a new city you should get out and EXPLORE! My go-to move is getting to the hotel, changing into a weather appropriate outfit, and using Yelp to find a place to get some good food within a mile or two of my hotel. I'll then map walking directions to that food place. Depending on the area, I'll check with the front desk of the hotel to see if the route is safe and walkable, and then I venture out! 

Tip: to look like a local instead of a tourist, pop some headphones in, but keep the volume low enough that you can still clearly hear everything going on around you. 

In your new base, ask co-workers where you should live/eat/play and don't be afraid to use modern technology to help! I picked up a nice young man on my second night in Philly thanks to a popular dating app, and now we've been dating for two years. There are multiple apps to help you make new friends in cities too!

One of my goals for 2017 is to eat Ramen in every city possible.

4. Try to save a little money for the slower months.

During the summer we fly more and therefore make more money. During the winter months there are fewer flights and less money. Plan accordingly.

5. Download your monthly schedules at the end of the month.

For tax purposes, you need to know every single layover you had all year. The simplest way is to just keep track every single month.

6. Always screenshot your pairing/sequence at the start of a trip.

Sometimes Crew Scheduling likes to pull some shady stuff. Make sure you have a record of what you were actually assigned so that you can pay claim/ sort things out.

7. Learn your computer system and your contract inside and out.

Crew Schedulers are human. They make mistakes just like we all do. They'll try to give you trips you're illegal for. They'll try to assign things out of order, simply because they don't know any better.
Be ready to question things respectfully by asking what page of your contract allows what's happening. If something seems incorrect, ask about it! Know how to use your computer system to bid

8. Create a packing system that works for you. 

You will lose your mind and all your stuff if you don't have a place for everything so that you can make sure everything is in it's place before you check out of your hotel room.
I have some suggestions for how to make that happen as a Flight Attendant.

9. Rely on your co-workers and ASK QUESTIONS if you aren't sure about something.

We all remember our first working flight. We all remember what it was like to feel unsure. Ask other flight attendants for help or to explain things to you if you're confused. Whether that's on the aircraft, in the galley, in the crew room, in a briefing, or at home when scheduling assigns you something that doesn't feel right. Use your resources! Reach out to your coworkers on Facebook if you can't find one nearby in person- there are so many people who will help you get this right. Just please don't bring your notes from training on your first flight. You'll look like a dork.

10. You are not alone, this is an overwhelming life change.

Becoming a Flight Attendant isn't just starting a new job. It's starting a new job in a new city, away from your support system at home, in a high pressure environment, where people's lives are in your hands. To top it off, you're never sure where you'll be when and you're constantly in motion. 

Everything feels strange and new and exciting, but it can also produce a lot of anxiety and sadness.

This is a big deal. It can be really hard, but you aren't alone. Every single FA flying has been through what you're going through.
Don't be afraid to reach out to your friends or to senior flight attendants to ask for advice or help.
We want you to succeed and we want you to flourish- we're a family connected by wings. 

How to Survive a Bachelorette Party

May is upon us.

The unofficial commencement of Wedding Season has arrived.

Here we go.

Bachelorette (or bashlerette, depending on how far into the festivities you are) parties can be a lot of fun. 

There is also a lot of potential for mayhem and hurt feelings. 

These days, most typical Bachelorette parties involve a few key elements: traveling, alcohol, and raunchy references. 

Maybe you're going to Nashville, like so many women do. Maybe you're going on a local pub crawl. Maybe you're going on a wine tour. Maybe you're throwing a house party. 

No matter where you're going or what you're doing, here are three steps to survive the experience with your friendships and dignity intact.

1. Plan ahead.

Do not wing this.

If you know there will be alcohol consumption, have an ironclad plan for safe transportation. A party bus? Ubers? A designated driver or two? Know exactly who the contact person will be for the party bus. Know exactly who will call the ubers and how many you'll need to call. Make sure everyone has the phone number of your DD and that the non drivers leave their keys wherever you're staying for the night.

If you'll be outside, bring sunscreen. Wear shoes that you can live with.
Personally, because I am someone who wears makeup and likes it, I make sure to put on long lasting everything, especially lipstick like this one in Menace.

Have an emergency kit handy.

Even better, if you're throwing the party, have survival kits ready for your pals.

2. Hydrate.

Whether or not you'll be drinking alcohol at this event, you have GOT to remember to drink water. If you are drinking, it's especially important to hydrate. Alcohol is a diuretic, and it can be so easy to get wrapped up in fun and silliness that you forget that you literally need water to live, not to mention feel like a human being the next morning.  Most bachelorette parties are marathon events- days or hours of non-stop partying. While all of that is going on, make sure you're knocking back a glass of water for every alcoholic beverage you consume, or if you're the sober one, a glass for every couple of hours you're out. 

3. Use Situational Awareness. 

Be aware of what is going on around you AT ALL TIMES.
PAY ATTENTION to the people who are part of your group- do we still have all eight of us together? Did Sarah and Amanda make it back from the bathroom? Is Kate looking a little worse for the wear over there? Everyone is responsible for everyone else. Team Bride, for real.
Also, pay attention to the way your group might be affecting those around you. Are you being inappropriately loud? Are there creepers trying to be skeezy and making lewd comments to the bride?  Be ready to shut down any gross behavior from your friends or from jerks who want to ruin a fun thing. 





Depending on where and when you're partying, you may encounter other bachelorette parties. Remember, this is not a competition. In fact, you're all there to celebrate the same wonderful thing! Someone you love has found the person she loves.
So if they seem cool and it's appropriate, combine forces! Congratulate their bride and wish them all good luck. You're all going through the same rite of passage together.

How To Survive a Bridal Shower

If you are female and someone close to you has gotten married or will be getting married soon, you've been to a bridal shower. 

If, by some miracle, you've managed to avoid attending a standard shower, here's a quick synopsis: women (usually just women) gather, the bride opens gifts that those women have brought for her, games are played, food/cake/drinks are consumed. 

Apparently the tradition dates back to the 15th century in Holland, a fabulous country we now know as the Netherlands.

As the story goes, a woman from a wealthy family wanted to marry a man from a poor family, and her father tried to prevent it by withholding her dowry. 

The woman's friends banded together to "shower" her with gifts so that she would be able to marry the man she loved. 

Here's what I love about this origin story: essentially, a group of Dutch women got together to support another woman and to help empower her to autonomously make her own decisions. #GirlPower #SmashThePatriarchy

Today there are all kinds of showers (men can be showered too!) and all kinds of bridal shower etiquette questions surrounding them. The Emily Post Institute has a quick list of some shower questions and answers that I really like here. 

What it all boils down to for me is one simple question: does every element of the event honor the individuality of the bride? 

A Bridal Shower is about showering someone you care about with affection and joy- if you get so mired down in "tradition" or things that "have" to be done or "should" be done, it's easy to lose sight of that. 

There are a million articles out there on how to throw a bridal shower, but this post is going to focus on how to survive a bridal shower. 

I recently attended two showers in the space of six days and it was a LOT. 

For one wedding I'm reading in the ceremony and essentially day-of coordinating, and for the other I'm a bridesmaid.



The brides are also in each other's weddings and both showers were complete surprises for the honorees, so it was pretty delightful to watch them be surprised and showered with love. 

Here are my top tips on how to survive your next Bridal Shower:

For the Guest:

1. If there is wine, drink it.

2. Choose a gift that you've found particularly useful and write about that in the card. If you want to make a gift, make sure that it's very personalized and nicely presented. If you're unsure about what to bring, stick to the registry or ask the host.

3. If you feel awkward because you don't know many other shower attendees, revert to the one topic of conversation you definitely have in common: the couple getting married. Participate in the events and games with patience- sometimes these things drag a bit. Roll with it and eat some cake.

For the Bridesmaid:

1. If there is wine, drink it.

2. Follow the lead of the MOH or main host of the shower, but don't be afraid to step up if you see something that needs fixing. Be proactive. Ask for specific tasks. Is someone already writing down who gave which gift? Is someone collecting the bows from the gifts for later use? Do they need help breaking down after the shower is over? During the planning process, help guide the host to focus on things that the bride will actually like. Does she hate surprises? Make sure she isn't caught off guard.

3. Remember that this event, as with all wedding events, is not your time to be the center of attention. It it your time to vie for a "best supporting friend" award. Look at this as practice for the wedding day: your job is to focus on the bride.  Don't wear white or cream or something outrageous. Remember why you're there: someone you love is getting married.
If you can't set aside your need to be the center of attention maybe you shouldn't be in the wedding party at all. 

For the Bride:

1. If there is wine, drink it.

2. As you open your gifts, remember that each of them was chosen with love. Smile and be so grateful for everything, even if you *know* you're never going to use Aunt Suzie's gravy boat. Find something to genuinely compliment about each gift

3. Bask in the love you're being showered with. Maybe you love being the center of attention, maybe you don't. Regardless, focus on the fact that these people love you and want to share in your joy.

Two Years Later

On February 23, 2015 I started Flight Attendant Training. 

In the last two years, a LOT has happened. 

So many new experiences, adventures, and people have been a part of the past 24 months... Sometimes it's a little overwhelming to think about how much has changed since I walked through the doors of the training center. 

76 Domestic Layovers

7 International Layovers

5 new states (for a total of 41)

This is the morning of the very first day of training. I was nervous, sad, and I had absolutely no idea how phenomenally my life was about to change. 

When you practice together on fake airplanes you end up bonded for life.

With my friend Andre before we left for our initial operating experience! We were hired together on the same day. 

Right before we jumped into a pool to practice saving some lives.

Roommate Kate! 

Two years later at recurrent training: everything changes, everything stays the same. 💖

Yesterday was the most exciting/scary day on the job so far, and I am so grateful for the changes that have taken place in my life because of it.

Thanks stars. 

Happy Galentine's Day!

I love Leslie Knope. 

More than a few times, I've been compared to her and I'm always flattered. 

One of the best things to come out of Parks and Rec is the fabulous tradition of Galentine's Day.

I wanted to share with you my favorite Galentine's Day tradition.

Two years ago right now, I was walking through one of the hardest times of my life. I didn't have a Valentine but I did have awesome lady pals who were holding my hand as I went through hell. 

So I started crafting cards for them. 

There were some embarrassing mishaps early on involving glitter glue, but now I've got my favorite format down. 

Glitter washi tape. Knope compliments. Heartfelt words. 

I am so lucky to have so many cool, hilarious, strong, and gorgeous women in my world. 

THANKS Chi Omega, Miss America, Girls State, Flight Attending, and other awesome ways I've met cool women. 

I usually can't eat waffles with my gal pals on Galentine's Day, but I CAN spend the day celebrating awesome women and letting them know I care about them. 

Here are a few of the cards that I put together this year:

Valentine's Day is lovely, but honestly, I'm way more excited about a day devoted to inspiring women, glitter, and breakfast food. 

Happy Galentine's Day!