Matrimony Monday: Deciding to Get Married

First of all, let me be clear that I am decidedly not a marriage expert.
I'm not a sociologist, a counselor, a psychologist, a self help book author, or anything else.
I'm just a twentysomething who's been married, divorced, and is now engaged again- who spends a LOT of time immersed in the wedding industry and thinking about the nature of marriage. All of this is based on my own experiences and obsessive Hermione Granger style research.

When I was 22, I thought that I had found someone who would make a good teammate for life. 

Six years later, I can safely say that I still don't think I was wrong- I think he would have, if he'd wanted to be my (or anyone's) life teammate. 

But he didn't. 

More devastatingly, he didn't realize that (or tell me) until after we'd been married for a year. 

And so, we got divorced. 

I didn't want to get divorced- I wanted to stay married... but I eventually figured out that you can't force someone to be on your team. 

I know that seems pretty obvious, but everyone makes mistakes at 24. I'm just lucky that my mistake was something dumb but principled. I made the best decision I could with the information I had available to me at the time. As Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
There are far worse mistakes I could have made.

Contrary to what our rom-com worshiping society tells us, marriage isn't for everyone. 
It's not that there isn't a lid for every pot, because it's not that hard to find a lid that will fit.
The trick is finding a lid that won't explode off of your pot when the water starts boiling.
I firmly believe that some pots are genuinely better off without lids.
Not every person is better off married or partnered.

For some people, life is better off if they're married as long as it's to the right person.
(This seems to be the overarching idea about marriage today.)
For other people, life is complete only when they're married, period.
(Look at most of the first half of the 20th Century in Western Culture for this concept.
Romantic marriage was necessary and for everyone!
This is still the pervasive idea in a lot of cultures and communities.)

For me personally, the point of dating has always been about finding someone who would be on my team permanently.
I've never been one for "casual" dating or hookup culture.
For me, if something is worth doing, it's worth doing seriously.



I relate to this scene a little too intensely.


Of course, when I actually WAS looking to date casually (I seriously just wanted to try new restaurants and talk to interesting people, which I did.) I found myself another husband.
Oops.

So how did we decide to get married?
It just rapidly became stunningly obvious that we needed to.

We're both pro-marriage people who want to build a family in the same ways.
We share the same values, principles, and almost all of the same priorities.
(He's more into spending money on cars than I am. *eyeroll* Can't win 'em all.)
He gets all of my references: Monty Python, most musical theatre jokes, weird stuff in Latin...

Most of all, I finally understood that line from Wuthering Heights-
"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."




It wasn't so much a decision to get married as it was an obvious necessity given who we are as people.
Honestly it felt like a "well, DUH" moment when I realized that this weird-like-me Philly guy was the one I didn't know I'd been waiting for.
(Ugh, I know, gross again, sorry.)
Unlike many other choices in my life, I didn't draw up a list of pros and cons, I didn't give a weighted point value to practical items that weigh in favor of my long term goals, and I didn't even consider how things would look in pictures first.
(Ok, well, I might have for a second, but you would too if you had the potential for cop/flight attendant engagement photos.)

So here's my point: if you have to weigh the pros and cons about marrying someone, you need to be honest with yourself about why you want to get married.

Is it simply because it's the next "logical" step?
Is it because they check boxes on a list?
Is it because you want the fun and spectacle of a wedding?
Is it because you're at a point in your life where you feel like you "should" be hitting certain goals and you haven't yet?
Is it in spite of fundamental differences that make your life consistently challenging that you're trying to ignore?

If you thought about any of these and then added the phrase "yeah, but..." then I think the situation bears discussion with someone who knows you really well and/or is a professional at helping people work through hard life things. 
If you're a traveler with a weird schedule like me, allow me to recommend BetterHelp or TalkSpace.


There's definitely no "right" timeline for deciding to marry someone.
Some people know after two weeks.
Some people know they're ready after two years of (metaphorically) kicking the tires and working through stuff.
Some people know they DON'T EVER want to get married, and that's ok too!
(As long as they're honest with their potential partners about it.)

That's pretty much what I've got so far.
Check back with me in another few years to see if anything has changed...because goodness knows my thoughts on this topic were VERY different when I was in my early twenties vs. now in my well seasoned late twenties when I am finally so wise.

Dry February: 2018

Last year I attempted Dry February and failed delightfully. 

This year, I'm going to give it another shot. 

Heh. Shot.

I've spent essentially the entire month of January without my full voice, sometimes more sick, sometimes less, but after four weeks of this I am SO sick of being sick. 

I finally went in to see the doctor at our company health clinic earlier this week and during the check in process the nurse asked the normal questions before taking my vitals. I gave my standard answers.

"Do you drink coffee or tea?"

Yes, I'm a Flight Attendant. 

"Do you smoke?"

No.

"Do you drink alcohol?"

Yes, I'm a Flight Attendant. 

I often joke about the...intense...relationship that Flight Attendants typically have with alcohol. 

In our industry it's just a known fact that flight crews drink, sometimes to excess. 

I've never really had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, probably because I consistently evaluate my habits when it comes to drinking. I try to be aware of what I'm doing because at the end of the day, alcohol is essentially poison.

Fun, socially acceptable poison, but still. Bad for ya.




At the conclusion of the appointment, the doctor had diagnosed me with "extreme extreme" congestion due to chronic allergies (WHAT?! I've never been a person with allergies in my life. WHO AM I?) and chronic dehydration due to my job ("All of you are dehydrated. All of you.").

While I was relieved to not have a sinus infection that would require antibiotics, I was mildly annoyed to be diagnosed with stuff that will require actual lifestyle changes to remedy.
You mean I have to, like... take care of myself?
And so, Dry February seemed like a thing worth trying again because alcohol is dehydrating and stuff.
Ugh.




I've decided that it's going to be easier this year than it was last year- my life looks very different in February 2018 than it did in February 2017.
98% of those differences are excellent.
2017 ended with some HUGE and painful changes, then suddenly (and possibly miraculously), things got really fantastic just in time for a new year to begin.

This year, I have a real reason to not drink (and no, I AM NOT PREGNANT. Seriously. The weirdest part of being in your late 20's is everyone thinking you're pregnant every time you turn down an alcoholic beverage or gain five pounds.) which is better than last year's vague motivation of "I just want to see if I can."
I'm hopeful that will make the next 28 days easier. Breaking a habit is hard, guys.
Not hard like things that are actually difficult, but not super fun either.

So here we go!

But You're Supposed To...

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the things that I am most frustrated by is that so many people have opinions about what you're "supposed" to do. 

You're supposed to wear a white dress, it's traditional.

You're supposed to serve alcohol, otherwise no one will have fun.

You're supposed to invite your parent's neighbor's niece, because she invited your parents to HER wedding. 

You're supposed to have dancing. 

You're supposed to have a cake.

You're supposed to have the kind of ceremony that everyone expects you to.

And on and on and on. 

If you've ever planned a wedding, you know how easy it can be to become overwhelmed by the expectations that other people have for your wedding. 

Too often it seems like weddings become about everyone EXCEPT the bride and groom. 

It becomes more about the party right now and less about the joining of two lives for always. 

Today I want to let you know that it's ok to make your wedding as weird, as wacky, or as basic as you want to. 

If there's something you hate, don't do it. 

If there's a "tradition" that doesn't feel right, tweak it or get rid of it. 

If you want to break every rule in the book, go for it. 

This is YOUR wedding.

No matter WHAT choices you make in life, you're always going to have people who are going to be critical of them.
You can't please everyone, and some people are just impossible to please, so go ahead and stick to your guns!

That said, you need to be aware that your choices have consequences. 

When you're making your unusual choices, keep in mind the manifesto of the Awesome Etiquette podcast from The Emily Post Institute: focus on the principles of consideration, respect, and honesty.

Great-Aunt Mildred might be hurt if you abruptly refuse to wear the family wedding veil, so break it to her kindly and explain your choice to her respectfully.
Your dad will probably be disappointed if you tell him you'd rather walk down the aisle alone, so be honest with him and considerate when you talk to him about it.
You're going to have to be ok with hurting a few feelings, but make sure you're polite about it.


If you need validation or a professional opinion, you can hit me up via A Professional Bridesmaid.

Beautycounter: Why I'm In

I am a fairly skeptical person. 

When I was going through sorority recruitment years ago, I was just WAITING for someone to try to haze me because I had heard all the rumors and I was ready to be a whistle blower. 

The hazing never actually happened and I ended up with a group of sisters for life.
Chi O till I die-o. 

I tend to approach situations optimistically, but with my eyes wide open. 

Not everything that glitters is gold, or even a good AB rhinestone. 

So when my pal/hero Kristin Ingram (Miss Virginia 2005) started promoting this company called Beautycounter I was mildly interested (because she IS SO COOL YOU GUYS) but mostly skeptical. 

I assumed that it was like most other sell-from-home makeup/skincare companies: possibly a pyramid scheme, with products that are just OK but definitely not as good as what I could find elsewhere. 

Well. I was wrong. 

I suspended my skepticism long enough to actually have an open mind and learn about the company.

I was impressed by what I heard. 

I heard about a company committed to getting safer, effective, high quality products on the market AND committed to advocating for change in the cosmetics industry.
Beautycounter cosmetics, skin care, and other products are free of 1,500 toxic chemicals that can have an adverse impact on your health. 

Product safety is a women's rights issue. 

Women use the vast majority of personal care products: toiletries, skin care, and cosmetics. 

In the European Union, there are over 1,300 chemicals that have been banned from use in the formulas of personal care products. 

The United States has partially banned only 30 of those harmful and potentially toxic chemicals. 

It is so icky to think about, but everything you put on your skin seeps into your body.

For a while I just chose to ignore this fact. 

Everything causes cancer these days, right? 

But I've reached a point in my life where having kids sometime in the next decade is a tangible concept, and I'd like to do what I can to keep myself healthy for that whole... thing.

You know, possible pregnancy and motherhood. 

(Ick, but like, also babies are cute.)

There's really no rush. Seriously. But still. Eventually.

I've tried a few "clean" or "honest" products here and there, but I'd mostly given up on it because they just weren't quality skincare products. 

They didn't work, or worse, I had an allergic reaction to them. 

So even after I was impressed by everything I learned about Beautycounter as a company, I held off buying anything until I actually tried the products. 

Kristi mailed me some samples and as soon as I put them on my face I knew I was a goner. 

You guys, these products are outstanding.

Seriously, my biggest hangup about using products sold by independent consultants in the past has been the quality and the effectiveness. 

I've tried products in the past that have been just ok, but I could easily get something better at a nearby beauty supply store or in Europe on a layover.

This is different.

The one that really sold me on the whole line is the Cleansing Balm. 

I've used a few fantastic cleansing balms or oil cleansers in the past, but they were either too expensive (think $135 for a single tub) or I just wasn't sure exactly what was in them and that skeeved me out a little bit. 

This balm blew all of them out of the water. (heh)
Figuring (correctly) that it would be a perfect addition to my ten step skin care routine
I tested it by using it to wash my face AFTER I'd already used my normal cleanser, and it removed makeup traces I didn't even know existed. 

My washcloth was covered in grime that I normally would have just LEFT ON MY FACE. 
I was instantly impressed by Beautycounter skin care. Boom. 

So I was all "KRISTI SIGN ME UP FOR EVERYTHING" and then my bank account was like "CALM DOWN AND DO THIS THE SMART WAY".

And so, as of today I can hook you up with outstanding products (that are free of 1,500 harmful chemicals) as a Beautycounter Consultant. 

For those of you keeping score in the back, yes, I now have three jobs AND I help my mom with her businesses AND I do a little bit of volunteer work on the side. Oh, and I cross stitch. And take in special needs dogs. And somehow have a boyfriend who still wants to hang out with me.

Even my side hustles have side hustles. 

#MillennialLife amirite??

But I'm SO impressed by these products and by the mission of this company that I'm willing to make room in my life for this ONE MORE THING. 

So come at me, y'all.

If you've already heard about Beautycounter, maybe through their partnerships with Target, J Crew, or goop, and you've been wondering where to buy Beautycounter products, look no further!

I'm ready to help you get your hands on some outstanding products.
If you're unsure until you try a sample, hit me up and I'll hook you up.
And speaking of hook ups, if you want some free/discounted products there are ways to make that happen too.

Click here to visit the Beautycounter website and get your hand on the products ASAP!

Here we go!

How to Give the Best Wedding Speech

All wedding speeches/toasts fall into one of these categories:

1. Hot mess.

The speech giver decided to wing it, downed a few shots, and/or it's unbearably raunchy.

Please let this end.

2. Boring.

Cliche. Blah. Cringe. Is he still talking?

3. Thank goodness that's over.

"Well, at least she tried."

4. Delightful.

Short, sweet, heartfelt, effective.

5. Brilliant.

"VIRAL YOUTUBE STATUS ALERT"

Public speaking freaks people out, so it's understandable that sometimes people fall into one (or more) of the first three categories. 

You want your toast to be a four or a five, so let's make it happen.

Look, the reality is that not all of us can or should deliver a speech in the form of a rap, or a Disney song medley, so here's a basic formula for a speech that will take you from a 1 to at least a 4. 

(For the purposes of this example, let's assume you're making a speech on behalf of a bride.)

A Formula for a Solid Wedding Speech:

Introduce yourself and your role at the wedding.

+

Explain how you met the bride as briefly as possible.

+

Share a quick anecdote that showcases an excellent part of the bride's personality.

+

Share how the bride's new spouse brings that excellent thing out in her.

+ 

Share a story of the two of them together that exemplifies why they're a great fit as a couple.

+ 

If appropriate, add a quote or traditional proverb.

+

Finish strong with something simple like "To the happy couple!" 

Obviously if you're an experienced pro, add in some jokes (as long as they're rated G) and references to things the couple loves. Personalize it. 

Most importantly: write a speech that is focused on the couple you're celebrating. 

This is their day to shine together.

Have questions? Feel like you need some coaching on speech content or delivery? 

Hit me up, y'all. 

I'm a Professional Bridesmaid. 

caroline@aprofessionalbridesmaid.com

A Professional Bridesmaid

For the past decade or so, I've worked events. 

My mom has two inns/event venues in Northern Vermont, in college I worked as an event coordinator for a local gallery, and then there's the constant political/non-profit work... plus, all my friends keep getting married. 

I've been a bridesmaid in a Gatsby Theme wedding in Scotland. 

I've been a bridesmaid in my ex-husband's ex-girlfriend's wedding in Arkansas. 

(Yes, that story is as good as you think it is. The short version is that females are strong as hell.)

I've been a pre-ceremony announcer, an impromptu DJ, a flower girl wrangler, a day-of coordinator, a Bride's Enforcer, and I recently booked my first gig as a wedding officiant. 

Oh, and I even got married that one time too. 

Our dear friends Mark and Marleigh got married last week, and it seemed like a good time to slap a label on what I've been doing casually for a long time: being A Professional Bridesmaid. 

Essentially, I want to offer more broadly what I've been doing for my friends for years- help with wedding planning, resources, and coordination. 

I just think it's the weirdest thing that our wedding culture tells us that when a ring is put on your finger, it instantly imparts all the knowledge necessary to execute a "perfect" wedding day. 

Oh, and that perfect wedding day had better involve a trendy-but-also-timeless wedding color scheme, an open bar, and six creative uses of burlap. 

Photo Credit: Lauren Brimhall Photography

You know what makes a wedding perfect? 

Two people in love get married. 

But it's never that simple, is it? 

Society and family put so much pressure on what you "should" do, on what you're "supposed" to do, that it can often take the joy right out of marrying your person. 

Having help from someone with experience, knowledge, and a practical perspective will save you so much time, stress, and money. 

Photo Credit: Lauren Brimhall Photography

I am not a wedding planner. 

I don't want to design your event for you. I don't want to craft your center pieces. 

I want to empower you to make the best choices for your wedding, to the best choices for your role in someone else's wedding. 

Then on the day of your wedding, I want you to have all the tools to have a joy-filled and minimally stressful experience. 

Whether that means I'm there in person to answer last minute questions from your vendors and your great Aunt Susan, or that means I've made you a phenomenally detailed wedding day timeline, you deserve to be relaxed on the day you commit your life to another human being. 

The packages I've put together start at $15 for some quick answers, and they go all the way up to me putting on a chiffon dress and being in your wedding photos. Whatever you need, friend. 

If you're planning a wedding, if you're about to be a bridesmaid, or if you've got wedding questions, hit me up: caroline@aprofessionalbridesmaid.com 

Tell your friends. 

This is going to be a good time. 

Senior Mama Life: Flight Attendant Seniority

In the world of commercial aviation, seniority is everything. 

Simply put, seniority is how long you've been with the company. 

(Generally, as long as you remain an active employee, you accrue seniority.) 

Your seniority increases over time and as the company hires new Flight Attendants, or as people above you retire or leave for greener pastures. 

Your pay is determined by your seniority. Your schedule is determined by your seniority.

  Your cartel status is determined by your seniority.

Since your pay and your schedule pretty much dominate your life, seniority rules all.

At my company, seniority also often determines which position you'll be working on the aircraft. At our international briefings, we select positions in seniority order. 

While on reserve, our days off are (theoretically) assigned in seniority order, and if you want to bid for a specific trip that's open, it's assigned in seniority order. 

And when you get assigned a sweet trip  where all the other Flight Attendants are super senior and know each other, this is what it looks like. 

I've written about Reserve Life before, and I'm finally starting to accrue enough seniority that I can "hold" a few weekends off every month, which is good because I have about a million weddings to attend this summer and fall. 

The more senior you are, the less likely you are to have to sit Reserve, and the more likely you are to have a "line", or a set schedule for the coming month. 

(Some airlines have assigned reserve days each month instead of full reserve months or years.)

Our May schedules came out earlier this week, and a few people I know who are only a couple of years senior to me managed to snag lines. I was thrilled for them!

Someday I will know this feeling. Rotating Reserve, you can't get over to us fast enough.

At my company, to be considered really "senior" you have to have at LEAST 30 years of flying under your belt. 

That's where you can start to hold good trips, maybe get Christmas off (if you're lucky), and you become what we call a "Senior Mama". 

Yes. Thirty. Years. 

THIRTY.

They will never retire. Never give up, never surrender. It's a LIFESTYLE, people.

Senior Mamas (and Senior Papas) can be really intimidating to new hire Flight Attendants because they often come with a reputation for being... testy.

In my experience, Senior Mamas aren't scary as long as you treat them with respect. 

They've been doing this longer than I've been alive, so when I was a new hire I'd always make sure to ask them to tell me if they saw me doing something wrong. 

Having a little humility goes a long way. 

It's also important to remember that if they've been doing this job for so long, they really do know a thing or two about how to do it.
True, as in any job there are people who are having a bad day, or who just don't want to be at work, or who are just in a bad mood. Not everyone is going to be nice all the time. That's life.

If you're not even off probation yet, don't act like you know everything about Flight Attending. 

You know the manual and the newest procedures, which is so important, but the Senior Mamas are the ones who are going to have you covered when the emergency bells start dinging. 

If you're a passenger, don't be that jerk who assumes Flight Attendants should be 22 years old, blonde, and a size zero. 

Amazing Crew Members come in all shapes, sizes, and ages.

Some of the coolest coworkers I've flown with have been old enough to be my parent or grandparent, but they're the ones I'm going out to pubs with in Dublin and Brussels. 

So lucky to be working with a delightful crew. They all have senses of humor and a serious appreciation for how lucky we are to have the coolest job in the world. #falife #cabincrew #cwbfly

A post shared by Caroline Bright (@carolinebright) on Jul 24, 2016 at 12:06pm PDT

They're the ones making sure we don't miss out on cool layover experiences, like renting a car and driving out to the Hoover Dam. 

Flight Attendants are some of the greatest people you will ever meet. They're spontaneous, unexpectedly knowledgeable, hilarious, and bold. Long Las Vegas layover? Forget the Strip: we did the Hoover Dam and I hit up China Town. #bestjobintheworld #awesomecrew #ihavethecoolestcoworkers

A post shared by Caroline Bright (@carolinebright) on Apr 4, 2017 at 6:41pm PDT

Senior Mamas know how to work, and they know how to have a good time. 
On a lot of trips, they're the ones leading the charge to the Tiki Bar when I'm just trying to keep my eyes open.

Someday I'll have enough seniority to be cool....and hold Paris. 

Beauty on a Budget

Until I was about 19, makeup was a slightly terrifying and impenetrable mystery. 

Outside of my stage experience for musical theatre and Miss Vermont's Outstanding Teen, I didn't really wear makeup and I was pretty intimidated by it. 

My mom isn't much of a makeup person, so most of what I've learned has been from professional makeup artists, YouTube tutorials, and backstage at pageants. 

These days, I have a makeup routine that has been honed by experience and trial and error.

I'm a high points roller at both Sephora and Ulta, but as a Reserve Flight Attendant I don't always have the cash to buy all of the products I'd like to.  #reservelifeprobs

Plus, sometimes you get stuck somewhere and you have to make it work with whatever you can scrounge up at your local drug store.

Here are short and sweet makeup reviews for my current Top Three Budget Beauty Favorites:

1. Sonia Kashuk Tinted Brow Gel for Target

As someone with SUPER blonde (i.e. invisible) eyebrows, I compulsively color them in every single day, even if I'm not putting any other makeup on. Using a tinted brow gel has made a world of difference for me. I picked this up at Target because I was out of my usual brow gel, and I have to say I've been very pleased. The spool is a little bit too large, but after using it once I got the hang of it. I've found the taupe color works really well for my coloring- it doesn't look to brown, and it's not too light. I'm not sure that it's actually a universal color, but it does work well for my blondie purposes.

2. Revlon Colorstay Eye Liner 

I've been using this eyeliner for years and years. I've tried gels, liquids, and other pencils, but this one is what I come back to again and again. It's inexpensive, doesn't budge once you put it on, and has a built in sharpener. 

3. Ulta Twisted Volume Mascara

I bought this the other day on a complete whim. I needed a new mascara because my others were well past when they should have been thrown out, and this one was $11. 

I'm so glad I tried it! 

I've been delighted by the volume that it gives my lashes, the minimal clumping, and the staying power. Plus, the wand has a clicky turny thing in the top that lets you adjust how much twist there is in the brush. It's kind of fun to play with and there is definitely a difference in the volume between setting 1 and setting 4. The difference isn't insanely dramatic, but it exists. 

So those are my current fave beauty budget buys!
Let me know if you've tried them, or how they work out if you give them a whirl.

Red Lipstick Resistance

It's no secret that I'm a pretty political person. 

But the truth is that I kind of hate politics.

I don't like playing games. 

I want to find straightforward solutions to problems so that we can help people. 

But I've learned over the past 16 years of my involvement in politics that problem solving isn't always as simple as we'd like it to be. 

Real and lasting change is complicated and it takes time. 

Real change is never simple, and it's never easy. 

You also probably know that I'm an outspoken feminist. I mean, it's literally in all of my social media profiles. 

I don't pretend to be an expert on every issue, but the question of gender equality and fairness is the cause that has set my heart on fire for my entire life.

I wrote my first letter to the editor of our local paper when I was ten years old, complaining about sexism and gender stereotypes in a column. 

My mom didn't coach me to do it. 

(Frankly, she's still a little baffled as to how she managed to produce me.)

She just gave me the tools to express the outrage that I felt, which involved a handwritten letter faxed in to our local newspaper.

For me, feminism and femininity go together like wine and ice cream.

I love them both and they make my life better when I embrace them responsibly.

The "classic Flight Attendant" look is hyper feminine, and of course involves those signature red lips. 

I've been into bold lipstick for as long as I've been seriously into makeup. 

I won Miss Vermont in a bright red dress with bright red lips. 

Bold lipstick has been my signature move for my entire adult life. 

Today is the International Women's Strike/ A Day Without A Woman.

I already have the day off from my paid job, but I'm also going to be spending the day striking from as much unpaid work as possible. For example, I'm going to let my boyfriend lean in and take care of the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, but I'm still going to take care of the puppy while he's at work. She's a living baby creature who needs care. I can't strike from THAT. 

As a union member, I proud of the connections that today has to the labor movement. 

For information about how you can help with causes centering around organized labor today, visit this website. 

My favorite thing I'll be doing today is wearing red lipstick.

A lot of people struggle with the idea that this symbol of femininity has feminist origins, but it sure DOES. 

It's also been a way that strong women express their bold power throughout modern history. 

This piece from Public Radio International is a great little intro on red lipstick as a feminist statement. 

A quick synopsis:

Suffragettes defiantly wore red lipstick when they marched in the streets for the right to vote.

Rosie the Riveter wore red lipstick when she built our way to allied victory during WWII.

Hitler hated women wearing lipstick. 

So fight back against misogyny, sexism, and Hitler, everybody. 

Wear red in whatever form makes your heart glad, and stand in solidarity for equality. 

Resist. 

Dry February: So Over It

I hated Dry February.

I hated it for the same reason I would hate cutting ANYTHING completely out of my diet: it sucks.

I didn't have an iron clad reason to stop drinking- I wasn't concerned that I might be facing addiction, I hadn't developed any new allergies or health complications... I mostly just wanted to see if I could do it.

I did not last the full month.

On February 17th I went to a brewery with my boyfriend and some friends, and I really wanted to try his weird beer (it tasted like kielbasa, but in a good way), so I did. 

Then I asked my friends if failing at Dry February would make for a better blog post, and when they agreed that it would, I sampled a flight (which amounted to about a drink and a half).

Wearing flannel while sipping beer at a microbrewery. WHAT AM I?

It tastes like sausage....... and that's a good thing??

I didn't have a beer because I felt like I needed to, I had a drink because I wanted to. 

I like drinking different drinks, not because of the affects of alcohol, but because the flavors are interesting and because I might be a closeted hipster. 

(I do wear a lot of flannel and very tight pants.)

After that, I was pretty much back on the wagon until almost-disaster struck.

I abstained for another week or so before I had a very exciting day at work that left me REALLY WANTING a glass of wine.

I can't go into the details, but for all you cabin crew people reading this, just know that my training kicked right in and no one had ANYTHING on their laps for that landing. 

A Flight Attendant's worst day of work if often pretty traumatizing. We were very lucky and everything ended up being totally fine. 

So when I finally got home, I had some wine and declared my Dry February experiment over. 

Here's my conclusion:

I don't want to completely eliminate anything that I enjoy from my life. 

Whether it's alcohol, ice cream, or anything else delicious, it's best in moderation. 

It's a good idea to pay attention to your consumption of ANYTHING and to be aware of what you're putting into your body. 

Depriving yourself of things you enjoy just isn't worth it, but do be honest with yourself about what you actually enjoy.

Are you drinking champagne because you genuinely like it, or are you drinking it to fit in when you'd rather have ginger ale in your glass?  Don't just do it for the insta.

Friend, go have the bartender fill your glass with whatever floats your boat.

(As long as you're of legal age and someone else is driving.)

I like champagne. I like vegetables. I like licorice. I have a passionate love affair with French Fries.

Some of that is cool. Some of that isn't. 

But I'm going to keep on enjoying the things that I like because I like them. 

You. Do. You.