I Am So Into It

The last six months have been aggressive. 

I went on a solo trip to Australia.

I met a great guy and said yes when he asked me to marry him.

We went to Scotland. 

Family members had health crises. 

I visited Cuba for 45 minutes.

I held a line for the first time in three years of flying and got to buddy bid with one of my besties.

I judged Miss Delaware and coordinated the judging for Miss Vermont.
I turned 28.

In the midst of all of this, I've also been falling in love with a handful of products that I've been raving about to people on Facebook and in person. 

So here they are, all in one place:

1. Rothy's Flats

I waited forever to try these flats before pulling the trigger in January and ordering them. Seriously one of the best decisions I've made all year. 

If you've been on the fence about trying them, the link above will give you $20 off (which you should use to buy extra insoles) and you can thank me later. 

Beyond being ridiculously comfortable, the biggest thing for me about these shoes is that they are MACHINE WASHABLE.
I'm not a super germ fearing person, but airplane floors are gross, guys. #itsneverwater
Being able to toss these in the wash and set them out to dry has been a game changer. The insoles are also machine washable, which is great if you're a sock hater like me. 

I now own them in black, light blue, and hot pink. 

Of course I ordered the pink the day it dropped, have you even met me?

2. Ritual Vitamins

Another product I waited forever to try, thinking that anything so hyped in my social media feeds couldn't possibly live up to its claims. Then what really sold me was my girl, Allie Curtis, saying she'd been using them.
Allie is basically a goddess so I gave them a shot.
Have they changed my world? Not yet- but I'm definitely into how pretty they are, how minty they are, that they don't bother my stomach, and since I'm 28 now my doctor thinks a multivitamin is a good idea sooooo.... I'm sticking with them.

3. I accidentally got all into essential oils.

That same doctor who was all "be an adult, vitamins!" also worked out a new plan to manage my seasonal allergies that aren't seasonal because I'm a flight attendant.
 I started diffusing a sinus clearing essential oil blend recently and I've had to grudgingly admit that in addition to smelling pretty, it's been easier to breathe.
It's bad enough that I enjoy patchouli scented things, but now I'm apparently an essential oils person and I'm learning to live with that.

4. Beautycounter Overnight Resurfacing Peel

Look, the ingredients in so many skin care and cosmetic products are absolutely horrifying. In the US, we haven't had a major regulatory overhaul on ingredient standards since the 1930's which means that there's essentially no accountability for the safety of what we put on our body's largest organ everyday.
(Your skin, people.)
Beautycounter is leading the charge to get safer beauty product standards written into law in the United States, which is a big reason that I signed up to be a consultant with the company.
The majority of personal care products are purchased and used by women, which makes the potentially harmful consequences of the questionable ingredients a women's health issue. 
They have an extensive list of ingredients that will never be in Beautycounter products because of the harm that they cause- they call it "The Never List"- and even when I purchase non-Beautycounter personal care products I try to cross reference the ingredients list with The Never List to make informed choices about what I'm putting on, and therefore in, my body.

The biggest reason I hopped on board the Beautycounter train is that the products actually WORK. They're safer, but most importantly to me, they're effective and they do what they say they will.

I was so excited when this peel dropped because now that I'm aging (HELLO AGAIN, LATE TWENTIES), I've been looking for something that would simultaneously get rid of dead skin AND moisturize but that didn't have scary ingredients in it.
My general policy is that if a skincare product isn't safe for a pregnant mom, I should try to avoid it as I would someday like to attempt to be a pregnant mom and it's not easy to get that bad stuff completely out of your system.
I follow the peel with this moisturizer and this eye cream.
Countermatch is a skincare line of miracles. 

5. I started wearing SPF (on more than just my face) every single day.

I am an extremely pale person. There's just no way around it.
My skin color could best be described as "paper" or "blindingly white".


Actual footage of Selena from when we met. 
(JK, but this is what it actually would look like.)

When we lived in Indonesia, my mom basically dipped us in a tub of sunscreen every day and we still managed to burn.
Now that I'm an adult, I've been wearing products with SPF on my face every day for years and I've recently noticed there's a difference in the texture of the skin on my face (that I've paid attention to) and the skin on my neck (which I've ignored).

Accurate depiction of my reaction to my own stupidity.

I realized it was time to wear sunscreen on the skin that I expose consistently to the sun- my neck, chest, the back of my neck, my hands, and arms. 

So far so good this summer- I've been burn free- but only time will tell if this extra effort pays off in the long run. 

Unsurprisingly, I've turned to Beautycounter once again for a daily sunscreen that works, smells good, doesn't make me even whiter, and doesn't hurt the environment. 

Oh, it also comes in a convenient travel size. 

Dry February: 2018

Last year I attempted Dry February and failed delightfully. 

This year, I'm going to give it another shot. 

Heh. Shot.

I've spent essentially the entire month of January without my full voice, sometimes more sick, sometimes less, but after four weeks of this I am SO sick of being sick. 

I finally went in to see the doctor at our company health clinic earlier this week and during the check in process the nurse asked the normal questions before taking my vitals. I gave my standard answers.

"Do you drink coffee or tea?"

Yes, I'm a Flight Attendant. 

"Do you smoke?"

No.

"Do you drink alcohol?"

Yes, I'm a Flight Attendant. 

I often joke about the...intense...relationship that Flight Attendants typically have with alcohol. 

In our industry it's just a known fact that flight crews drink, sometimes to excess. 

I've never really had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, probably because I consistently evaluate my habits when it comes to drinking. I try to be aware of what I'm doing because at the end of the day, alcohol is essentially poison.

Fun, socially acceptable poison, but still. Bad for ya.




At the conclusion of the appointment, the doctor had diagnosed me with "extreme extreme" congestion due to chronic allergies (WHAT?! I've never been a person with allergies in my life. WHO AM I?) and chronic dehydration due to my job ("All of you are dehydrated. All of you.").

While I was relieved to not have a sinus infection that would require antibiotics, I was mildly annoyed to be diagnosed with stuff that will require actual lifestyle changes to remedy.
You mean I have to, like... take care of myself?
And so, Dry February seemed like a thing worth trying again because alcohol is dehydrating and stuff.
Ugh.




I've decided that it's going to be easier this year than it was last year- my life looks very different in February 2018 than it did in February 2017.
98% of those differences are excellent.
2017 ended with some HUGE and painful changes, then suddenly (and possibly miraculously), things got really fantastic just in time for a new year to begin.

This year, I have a real reason to not drink (and no, I AM NOT PREGNANT. Seriously. The weirdest part of being in your late 20's is everyone thinking you're pregnant every time you turn down an alcoholic beverage or gain five pounds.) which is better than last year's vague motivation of "I just want to see if I can."
I'm hopeful that will make the next 28 days easier. Breaking a habit is hard, guys.
Not hard like things that are actually difficult, but not super fun either.

So here we go!

The Holidays Are Hard

It seems like every year advertisers and our social media newsfeeds inundate us all with images of perfect family holidays, exciting engagements, and fun vacations.  

Reality is very different for most of us. 

With my job, I rarely get to spend holidays with the people I love. I spend them sitting alone in hotel rooms, eating takeout (if I'm lucky) and FaceTiming with the folks back home, which often makes me even MORE homesick. 

Over the past few years I've spent Thanksgivings and Christmases waiting for the phone to ring, alone in strange cities, and wracked with heartache. 

No matter your job, holidays can be fraught with hard emotions. 

Death.

Divorce.

Financial crisis. 

A devastating health diagnosis. 

Family discord.

At this time of year it somehow feels like there's more pressure than ever to be living a perfect life, free of heartbreak, conflict, or hard times.

We're "supposed" to be full of holiday cheer and joy but often it can be incredibly difficult to feel the tingle of magic through the sadness of our real-life burdens. 

So for those of you struggling this holiday season, honestly, I'm right there with ya. 

Here are a few of my tips for coping:

1. Remember that a lot of people are having a harder season of life than you are. 

Yes, this is tough, but take a few moments to consider how it could be worse. 

I try to remember that even though I can't be with my family this time, at least I have all of them still and I can see them next week. 

2. Consider how people celebrated holidays historically.

You have indoor plumbing to use on Thanksgiving? Not too shabby. 

You aren't battling bears on your homestead in the wilderness? Good. 

3. Do routine things you would do on any other day.

Get your cup of coffee. Read your book. 

Remember tiny things that you like to do on a normal day, and do those things. 

4. Lower your expectations. 

WHY do we think that a holiday should be a day full of flawless and majestic happiness? 

They're just days, and we're just humans. 

5. Find tiny ways to celebrate for yourself. 

Last Christmas I was alone in Las Vegas for 30 hours. I made my own tiny celebration by doing things I love- eating delicious food and going to a Christmas Eve service at the local Unitarian Universalist church. I was friendly, so I made new friends. I like to sing, so I sang carols. 

It was a little lonely, but I also kind of loved it. 

But You're Supposed To...

When it comes to wedding planning, one of the things that I am most frustrated by is that so many people have opinions about what you're "supposed" to do. 

You're supposed to wear a white dress, it's traditional.

You're supposed to serve alcohol, otherwise no one will have fun.

You're supposed to invite your parent's neighbor's niece, because she invited your parents to HER wedding. 

You're supposed to have dancing. 

You're supposed to have a cake.

You're supposed to have the kind of ceremony that everyone expects you to.

And on and on and on. 

If you've ever planned a wedding, you know how easy it can be to become overwhelmed by the expectations that other people have for your wedding. 

Too often it seems like weddings become about everyone EXCEPT the bride and groom. 

It becomes more about the party right now and less about the joining of two lives for always. 

Today I want to let you know that it's ok to make your wedding as weird, as wacky, or as basic as you want to. 

If there's something you hate, don't do it. 

If there's a "tradition" that doesn't feel right, tweak it or get rid of it. 

If you want to break every rule in the book, go for it. 

This is YOUR wedding.

No matter WHAT choices you make in life, you're always going to have people who are going to be critical of them.
You can't please everyone, and some people are just impossible to please, so go ahead and stick to your guns!

That said, you need to be aware that your choices have consequences. 

When you're making your unusual choices, keep in mind the manifesto of the Awesome Etiquette podcast from The Emily Post Institute: focus on the principles of consideration, respect, and honesty.

Great-Aunt Mildred might be hurt if you abruptly refuse to wear the family wedding veil, so break it to her kindly and explain your choice to her respectfully.
Your dad will probably be disappointed if you tell him you'd rather walk down the aisle alone, so be honest with him and considerate when you talk to him about it.
You're going to have to be ok with hurting a few feelings, but make sure you're polite about it.


If you need validation or a professional opinion, you can hit me up via A Professional Bridesmaid.

Beautycounter: Why I'm In

I am a fairly skeptical person. 

When I was going through sorority recruitment years ago, I was just WAITING for someone to try to haze me because I had heard all the rumors and I was ready to be a whistle blower. 

The hazing never actually happened and I ended up with a group of sisters for life.
Chi O till I die-o. 

I tend to approach situations optimistically, but with my eyes wide open. 

Not everything that glitters is gold, or even a good AB rhinestone. 

So when my pal/hero Kristin Ingram (Miss Virginia 2005) started promoting this company called Beautycounter I was mildly interested (because she IS SO COOL YOU GUYS) but mostly skeptical. 

I assumed that it was like most other sell-from-home makeup/skincare companies: possibly a pyramid scheme, with products that are just OK but definitely not as good as what I could find elsewhere. 

Well. I was wrong. 

I suspended my skepticism long enough to actually have an open mind and learn about the company.

I was impressed by what I heard. 

I heard about a company committed to getting safer, effective, high quality products on the market AND committed to advocating for change in the cosmetics industry.
Beautycounter cosmetics, skin care, and other products are free of 1,500 toxic chemicals that can have an adverse impact on your health. 

Product safety is a women's rights issue. 

Women use the vast majority of personal care products: toiletries, skin care, and cosmetics. 

In the European Union, there are over 1,300 chemicals that have been banned from use in the formulas of personal care products. 

The United States has partially banned only 30 of those harmful and potentially toxic chemicals. 

It is so icky to think about, but everything you put on your skin seeps into your body.

For a while I just chose to ignore this fact. 

Everything causes cancer these days, right? 

But I've reached a point in my life where having kids sometime in the next decade is a tangible concept, and I'd like to do what I can to keep myself healthy for that whole... thing.

You know, possible pregnancy and motherhood. 

(Ick, but like, also babies are cute.)

There's really no rush. Seriously. But still. Eventually.

I've tried a few "clean" or "honest" products here and there, but I'd mostly given up on it because they just weren't quality skincare products. 

They didn't work, or worse, I had an allergic reaction to them. 

So even after I was impressed by everything I learned about Beautycounter as a company, I held off buying anything until I actually tried the products. 

Kristi mailed me some samples and as soon as I put them on my face I knew I was a goner. 

You guys, these products are outstanding.

Seriously, my biggest hangup about using products sold by independent consultants in the past has been the quality and the effectiveness. 

I've tried products in the past that have been just ok, but I could easily get something better at a nearby beauty supply store or in Europe on a layover.

This is different.

The one that really sold me on the whole line is the Cleansing Balm. 

I've used a few fantastic cleansing balms or oil cleansers in the past, but they were either too expensive (think $135 for a single tub) or I just wasn't sure exactly what was in them and that skeeved me out a little bit. 

This balm blew all of them out of the water. (heh)
Figuring (correctly) that it would be a perfect addition to my ten step skin care routine
I tested it by using it to wash my face AFTER I'd already used my normal cleanser, and it removed makeup traces I didn't even know existed. 

My washcloth was covered in grime that I normally would have just LEFT ON MY FACE. 
I was instantly impressed by Beautycounter skin care. Boom. 

So I was all "KRISTI SIGN ME UP FOR EVERYTHING" and then my bank account was like "CALM DOWN AND DO THIS THE SMART WAY".

And so, as of today I can hook you up with outstanding products (that are free of 1,500 harmful chemicals) as a Beautycounter Consultant. 

For those of you keeping score in the back, yes, I now have three jobs AND I help my mom with her businesses AND I do a little bit of volunteer work on the side. Oh, and I cross stitch. And take in special needs dogs. And somehow have a boyfriend who still wants to hang out with me.

Even my side hustles have side hustles. 

#MillennialLife amirite??

But I'm SO impressed by these products and by the mission of this company that I'm willing to make room in my life for this ONE MORE THING. 

So come at me, y'all.

If you've already heard about Beautycounter, maybe through their partnerships with Target, J Crew, or goop, and you've been wondering where to buy Beautycounter products, look no further!

I'm ready to help you get your hands on some outstanding products.
If you're unsure until you try a sample, hit me up and I'll hook you up.
And speaking of hook ups, if you want some free/discounted products there are ways to make that happen too.

Click here to visit the Beautycounter website and get your hand on the products ASAP!

Here we go!

Turbulent Health Ahead

When I worked retail in college, I didn't have paid sick time. 

If you were so deathly sick the you had to call out, you still needed to make sure that your shift was covered.

When I worked in an office, I did have paid sick time- sometimes. 

But even then, I wouldn't call out sick unless I was actively incapacitated or a danger to the people around me. 

I'm not a wimp. I could handle it. 

As a Flight Attendant, calling out sick is completely different. 

Now, working through some illnesses just isn't an option.  

Last year, I had to call out sick because I had laryngitis. I felt fine, I just had no voice.

Well guess what? Flight Attendants literally aren't allowed to work if they can't be heard- we need to be able to yell in case we have to evacuate an aircraft in an emergency. 

I'm currently out sick with a sinus/bronchial infection. 

I can't go to work with this because my ears won't pop, and if my ears can't adjust to pressure changes on the ground I could very well burst an eardrum at 30,000 feet.

I've burst both my eardrums in the past. I do not recommend it. 

So here I am, grounded by an illness that I would have worked through in any other job.

Forced to drink tea, take lots of medications, and hope that I'll be able to fly by next week because I really love my job. I want to go to work. 

I do have paid sick time, which is a huge reason I can stay in this job long term. 

Being a Flight Attendant can be a physically grueling job. 

The constant travel takes a toll on your body, as does hauling bags, dragging 300lb carts around, hiking miles in high heels, and sleeping irregular hours. 

Not to mention emergencies, hard landings, and turbulence- flying this much is hard on your body. 

Since starting this job, I've had friends who have had to be out sick because they've sprained their ankle, inhaled toxic fumes, fractured a rib, fractured a spine, and more. 

I've burned my hands and arms, strained muscles, and had more blisters and broken nails than I can count. It can get pretty ugly. 

If you're a new hire out there, here's some really important advice: prioritize your health. 

Ask any senior mama and they'll tell you how important it is to focus on staying healthy. 

Use hand sanitizer. Sleep instead of going out for drinks (sometimes). Wear the comfortable shoes once in a while. Sit down and strap in when it gets bumpy. 

For the love of all that is good, drink as much water as you can.

If you're a member of the flying public, have a little understanding for just how physically brutal our jobs can be.

Right now it seems like the media and the internet are conspiring with some of the worst parts of our society to make doing our jobs harder than ever before.

Have a little empathy for us when you're flying.

Better yet, give us the respect we deserve. 

Being a Flight Attendant seems very glamorous, but the reality is that it is physically and emotionally taxing. 

I love my job. It is the perfect job for who I am. I am so proud of the work I do everyday. 

I also go to work every single day ready to handle the worst case possible. 

The scenario you try not to think about when you're getting on a plane is something I've thought about a thousand times, and I'm prepared to handle it. 

Flight Attendants are trained and prepared to risk our lives to save yours. 

All we're asking for is a little respect. 

My 10-Step Korean Skin Care Routine

Korean skin care is one of the hottest beauty trends out there right now, and I am so on board. 

The basic idea is that it's a routine that involves a lot of steps, a lot of high quality products, and you're going to end up with glowy lovely skin. 

I dipped my toes in the water gradually over time, first by experimenting with Dr. Jart+ BB Creams, then Tony Moly Masks, and then I finally dove in with the full on 10-step Korean Skin

Care Routine.

One of the things that sold me on it was this article about embracing self-care as a radical feminist act.
The idea that taking care of ourselves as women is a way of fighting back against the misogyny rang so very true for me. I love embracing femininity as a way of fighting the patriarchy, and I want to make choices where I prove to myself and to the world that I value myself because I'm a woman, not in spite of the fact that I am a woman. Self-care is not the same thing as self indulgence. Read the article I linked to. It's seriously good.

But enough of my feminist soapbox rant and back to soap. 

The basic steps of my Korean Skin Care Routine:

1. Remove makeup.

2. Wash your face with an oil based cleanser.

3. Wash your face with a water based cleanser.

4. Exfoliate.

5. Toner.

6. Essence

7. Mask.

8. Eye Cream.

9. Moisturize.

10. Sunscreen. 

I had a lot of questions when I started this little project.

Aren't too many products harmful to my skin? Isn't over cleansing bad? Won't I strip away valuable things my skin needs to thrive? What makes this routine Korean? Am I culturally appropriating here? Isn't oil a BAD thing for skin? What the heck is with all of this aggressive cleansing? Do I have to do every step every day? Am I going to be able to easily lug this around when I fly? Will this clear up my skin magically?

Here's what I found out:

-Cleansing with "oil" helps your skin retain moisture.
-It really does take all that cleansing to get serious makeup off.
-The layers of moisture you add after the thorough cleansing make up for many sins.
-It's Korean because many of the products used are Korean exports and the priorities are traditional in Korean beauty. Here's a blog post about K-Beauty and questions around appropriation that I found informative. Like the author of Snow White and The Asian Pear, I've embraced this because I want better skin, self-care is radical enough without being exotic, and I love that this movement is bringing a little bit of diversity (and a focus on sun protection) to Western beauty standards.
-You don't do every step twice a day every day. I only exfoliate once or twice a week, and the same goes for masks.
-I've made this work pretty easily with my packing routine, but a big part of how I'm able to do that is because I'm a Flight Attendant and we're subject to different liquid restrictions when we're in uniform. That said, it's simple to get these products into tiny portable containers that work with TSA rules.
-This routine has definitely improved my skin. It has also made it very clear that at least 60% of how clear and glowy my skin is on any given day is impacted by my stress level, hormones, and how much water I've had to drink. Thanks, truth telling skin care.

Here are the skin care products that I've been using:

1. 2. 3. 4. 

5. 6. 7. 8. 

9.

1. Neutrogena Hydrating Makeup Removing Wipes.

I have used makeup wipes every single day for almost ten years. They're essential and these are my favorites.

2. TonyMoly Aquaporin Skin Care Kit.
This set has a group of K-Beauty essentials together in one box and I went with it because I'd used TonyMoly sheet masks before and liked them. This comes with an oil cleanser, a toner, an emulsion moisturizer, and a more intense cream moisturizer. I use the emulsion when I'm at home and the moisture cream when I'm on layovers.

3. Benton Honest Cleansing Foam
This cleanser is my absolute favorite product from this whole experiment. It smells so perfectly soapy, cleanses beautifully, and feels great. I'm in love with this product.

4. Benton Snail Bee High Content Essence
I don't know if this is a magical silver bullet for wrinkles yet, but I've enjoyed using it and it's done good work. There's a whole Snail Bee line by Benton that I'm planning on moving to as my other products run out because I've been so impressed by this brand.

5. Neogen Bio-Peel Gauze in Wine
This is a really great, usable exfoliating peel, but if the smell of fake grape flavor makes you feel vaguely sick, this is not the product for you. Try one of the other "flavors" in this same line like lemon or green tea. I've been very satisfied with these exfoliating pads and I don't find the smell unpleasant though it is strong while you're using the product.

6. TonyMoly I'm Real Mask Set
What a deal this set is! My favorites in terms of results have been the Lemon, Wine, and Aloe. I've seen immediate (if not long lasting) results and I definitely plan on repurchasing this to give as gifts.

7. Eborian Eye Cream
This company is so interesting- they're a Korean/French brand and I've loved this eye cream. The other day I forgot to apply it at night and when I woke up the next morning it totally showed. When I do remember to use this (which is 99% of the time) my under eyes are moisturized and the lines are less noticeable.

8. Fresh Rose Face Mask
This mask is pricey but one of the best things I have ever put on my face. When I use it consistently at night, my face looks refreshed and better than ever the next morning. It moisturizes and somehow magically also deals with any spots I have hanging around.

9. Dr. Jart+ Waterfuse BB Cream
I'm in love with this BB Cream. It's pale enough for me, moisturizing, has a good SPF, and my skin instantly looks 100% better when I have it on. It's the closest thing I've found to a miracle product.



I hope you feel empowered to give some of these products a role in your daily skin care line up!